March 21st 2022

 Hello my Angry Blueberries! It's Ren again, 

Life's been going by way too fast for me lately, it's been about a week since I've last posted.. In that last post I mentioned rejoining the pool of singles in the modern world. Which scares the crap out of me to be honest. In this day and age you never know who you can trust, who's hiding something, or what you're going to get into when you go to meet someone for a date.

In a world so large.. how are we supposed to find that special someone? That one person that'll stick with you for who you are as an individual and won't change you..

Some of us never even find that someone in our lives. Some of us never live long enough to. And some of us just don't care to. 

I wish that I was able to tell who can and cannot be trusted with my heart if I'm honest.. Nobody really understands me, nobody really is ok with whatever I do. Well, besides me. Maybe I'm not meant for anyone? Maybe everything I've done up to this point is just filler material and I'm wasting my precious time? But that wouldn't make sense.. I've taken every offer, turned away danger, and I've kept pushing through this whole time..

What else am I supposed to do? What more do I need to do to get where I wanna be? 

I don't know, but I think I need to figure it out. That and let loose a little.. I'm always so uptight.. always so stressed. Even with his rules and structures for me gone.. I'm still stressed.. I need a job.. Maybe I'll start doing Art Commissions, bring in some money to my PayPal and all that fun stuff.. I just need my own space to be free from everything. 

I need out of this house, out on my own, with my pup and my friend at my side.. 

At least for a little while.. 

Just for a little while..